Are you a Professor of Love? I don’t mean “do you profess your love?” Though professing your love is certainly a good thing, that is not what I am talking about today. When I ask if you are a “Professor of Love” I would like you to picture an academic professor. A professor, by definition, is a teacher of the highest rank in a college or university. They receive that highest rank due to their own higher education and their expertise on a subject. More likely than not, they also continue to do extensive research on their area of expertise. THIS is what we are going to focus on today.
Have you every said to your spouse, “I can read you like a book?” Or have you ever been able to finish your spouses sentences?
Our spouse is an “area of expertise” for us. Or not.
Some of us reading this can’t remember the last time we knew exactly what our spouse was thinking. Some of us might not even want to know. We might have been really excited when we first started “studying this subject” but now have gotten genuinely bored with it and can’t imagine that there is any more to learn on the matter. Some of us have gotten so complacent and maybe even arrogant that we don’t see any need to continue to research this subject.
Do your best to answer this question honestly.
Have I stopped researching my spouse?
By “research” I mean, have you stopped seeking to learn more about your spouse? Do you ask questions that are not about your daily calendar or who is taking the kids to the football game? Are you genuinely interested in knowing your spouse more?
We are an ever-evolving miraculous species that physically changes every second of the day. Do we really believe that our thoughts and feelings and desires in life don’t change too?
We recently had a much-needed date night and while we were at the restaurant, Steve pulled out these cards (pictured left). They are “conversation cards” for husbands and wives. Steve just began reading the questions as he held the cards in his lap. The cards spawned a wonderful conversation where…wait for it…we learned several new things about each other! Even though we have been married for almost 15 years, there is still more to learn about each other.
Even though we have been married for almost 15 years, there is still more to learn about each other.
I was so touched by this simple gesture, because Steve bringing those cards meant that he is still researching me.
I love being researched! It’s the best!
And if you know me at all, you know that I love to research…and that includes researching my husband.
On this Valentine’s Day (a holiday that many of us married couples tend to poo-poo), research your spouse. Dedicate time to learning more about this fascinating subject. I believe that is more meaningful and lasting than any dozen roses could ever be.
Commit to being a Professor of Love.
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