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Christian Marriage or Divorce: The Ultimate Source for Thriving!

Couple of man and woman hikers on top of a mountain at sunset or sunrise, together enjoying their climbing success and the breathtaking view, looking towards the horizon

Christian Marriage or Divorce: The Ultimate Source for Thriving!

The Key to Choosing Each Other Over Divorce.

In your Christian marriage, do you wish you had the ultimate source for thriving?  Even as Christians, we find ourselves in dark times seeking solutions.  In our darkest time, we found the key to choosing each other over divorce.  As a hurting Christian…marriage or divorce?  We found ourselves asking that same question, and got an answer that surprised us.

We recently celebrated our wedding anniversary! Every year we add to our marriage is celebrated as if we climbed Mount Everest! Cause…we did, didn’t we?

We were able to sustain a godly, thriving marriage for 365 days, even as the flaming arrows of life’s obstacles and distractions were hurled at us.

That is worthy of SUPER MOUNTAIN CLIMBER celebration, in my humble opinion!

Why were we able to make it another year? How do we continue to choose marriage rather than divorce?

We were able to make it another year because of one thing: THE CROSS.

Divorce was not the answer when our marriage completely fell apart because of one thing: THE CROSS.

We are able to love, forgive, accept, and grow as a couple because of one thing: THE CROSS.

When Jesus and his grace, love and mercy became the cornerstone for our marriage, everything changed. We began a new marriage, centered on God, just before our 7th anniversary.

The cross was beautifully represented that year. You see, only weeks before our 7th anniversary, we were both fighting to restore a completely broken marriage. Our marriage had fallen apart and we were only just starting to pick up the pieces.

My husband had only recently been introduced to the grace that comes with following Jesus. I had just returned to God’s path.  

We were in the beginning stages of healing.

Most of our free time was spent in marriage counseling, marriage strengthening activities, or intentionally learning how to love each other well. We were also spending a great deal of time studying God’s word, as we had learned that the Bible is the ultimate source on how to thrive in marriage…and in life.

This season of life was exhausting AND exhilarating.

Leading up to our anniversary date, I think we both were shocked– or at least pleasantly surprised– at the fact we were going to make it another year!

We had been through so much, and we were actually feeling the joy — deep joy — of a godly marriage.

So, when it came to an anniversary gift for my husband, what could I possibly get him that would properly reflect how I was feeling? What could we do for each other to adequately celebrate a nearly impossible feat of seven years of marriage?

On May 17th, 2009–our 7th anniversary—we handed each other a small wrapped gift. We slowly opened our gifts….and can you believe it…we both gave each other a cross necklace. A cross. THE cross.

We were able to make it another year because of one thing: THE CROSS.

Steve and I chose to boldly proclaim that truth with our gifts to each other.  Seriously, what are the odds?!


Our choice of gifts only further proves that it was very clear to each of us WHO was carrying us and our marriage. Jesus.

Do we all need to give each other cross necklaces in order to show Jesus is the center of our marriage? NO.  That is not my point.
Here’s what I want you to see:
Jesus and his sacrifice for us is what saved our marriage.
Allowing God to reign over our lives and our marriage was the game-changer for us.

As a Christian, marriage or divorce?  When you are hurting so bad, marriage or divorce?  With Jesus truly at the center of your marriage, we believe He provides us the strength to pursue each other rather than pursue divorce.*

Is Jesus the center of your marriage?  

Do you and your spouse recognize His sacrifice for you was enough?  

Are you able to trust that He loves you and will lead you?

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.
– John 3:16

Our goal at Side By Side is to see all marriages God-centered and thriving.  It happened in our marriage, and it can in yours.


*In certain cases-especially with abuse and addiction – divorce is sadly necessary.  If you are experiencing abuse in the marriage, please get help. If there is a problem with addiction, seek guidance. You are not alone.



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Side By Side

Side By Side Music, Inc is registered as a 501(c)3 Non-profit organization by the IRS.

Side By Side guides marriages divided by infidelity to journey from hurt to hope.


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Raleigh, NC 27615