The question of whether or not pornography use is cheating on a spouse has been debated for years. When serving marriages divided by infidelity, we are asked this question frequently: Is porn cheating?
Our aim in writing this article is to give you our answer, the reason for it, and a way to apply the truth behind it.
Many view this topic as quite complex, and there are countless resources offered to support the variety of viewpoints. For our purpose today, we will keep this article relatively short and concise. However, we will provide you with some additional resources if you’d like to do a deeper dive into the topic.
So, is porn cheating?
YES.
Now that we have that out of the way, let’s look at why we believe pornography use is a type of infidelity.
MATTHEW 5:28 SAYS, “BUT I SAY TO YOU THAT EVERYONE WHO LOOKS AT A WOMAN WITH LUSTFUL INTENT HAS ALREADY COMMITTED ADULTERY WITH HER IN HIS HEART.”
This verse in Matthew is our primary source and reason for why we believe porn is cheating.
Side Note: We are just skimming the surface. There are TONS of verses about sexual immorality in the Bible.
This truth is found within the chapters of Matthew called the “beatitudes.” Jesus speaks on a variety of hot topics during this sermon, giving his listeners clarity on what it means to truly follow Christ.
In Matthew 5, he addresses adultery specifically. Jesus goes beyond the commandment of “do not commit adultery” and takes it to the next level.
In this statement, Jesus claims that by just LOOKING at a woman (or man) with lustful intent, we have committed adultery in our hearts.
LET ME BREAK DOWN A FEW POINTS WE FIND IN THIS VERSE:
- If we believe Jesus is the Son of God and Messiah, then we can trust what he says to be true.
- Even ‘just looking’ lustfully is the sin of adultery.
- Committing adultery–with our eyes or any part of our body–begins in the heart.
Friends, this also means that using porn within your marriage is an adulterous act. Even if you are consensually “lusting together,” you are still lusting after someone who is not your spouse.
Confession time. In the early years of our marriage, we included pornography during intimacy. We were not Christians at the time, so we didn’t understand that sex was a gift from the Lord only meant to be between a husband and wife. We just thought a little ‘light’ porn would add some spice to our marriage.
Naively, we didn’t know how harmful porn can be.
Statistically, pornography is extremely detrimental physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. In a global view, pornography use is heavily tied to human trafficking, prostitution, abusive behaviors, divorce, and erectile dysfunction.
One of the best sources for porn statistics is Fight The New Drug. Check out these stats!
It wasn’t until we experienced the betrayal of an extramarital affair in our marriage that we opened our eyes to how–even the smallest amount of– pornography usage was detrimental to us.
Once Christ was at the center of our marriage, we repented of our sin and committed to a completely monogamous, porn-free marriage.
IF PORN IS CHEATING, WHAT NOW?
Well, if it is true that porn is cheating, then it’s got to go! It doesn’t have a place in your marriage. But, with God’s help, you can remove it from your life and renew your marriage. Don’t lose hope!
As we saw in Matthew 5:28, adultery (any sin, actually!) begins in the heart. So, if you have been using porn, now is the time to guard your heart against the temptation of porn and realign your heart with God.
If you and/or your spouse are using porn, now is the time to:
- Confess your sin to each other and to God.
- Ask for forgiveness.
- Repent (turn away completely) from your sin.
- Set boundaries against temptation.
Allow God to do a mighty work in your heart, restoring you and your marriage to His perfect plan.
We could expand on this topic much longer. God’s Word has a lot to say about sexual immorality, and our modern world is continuing to confirm what God has warned us of.
For today, we hope this article has given you a quick glimpse of why we emphatically respond to the question, “Is Porn Cheating,” with a bold YES.
Resources
If you are struggling with any form of pornography and want to stop, please read this article by our friends over at Covenant Eyes. It’s a helpful starting point.
Be Broken Ministries is also a wonderful Christian organization committed to freeing people from the bondage of pornography and sexual sin.
Of course, we are here for you as well. We guide marriages divided by infidelity with our proven path to hope. Please feel free to reach out.
